How are you FL?
Jun. 26th, 2011 05:09 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
beccastareyesOkay, so I'm writing about this because it helps.
So, I'm starting to apply for jobs, and first up is the NASA Postdoctoral Program. Which is shooting high*, but even if I don't get things in/get funded in July, I can apply in November with everyone else and their grad students.
Anyway, the thing with postdocs is its another big step for independence. You have to start being able to choose your own projects**. Part of the NASA thing is being able to write a proposal. And also contact the person you would like to work with and say 'let us work out something'.
Now, all of these things aren't things I've done before AND/OR are things I hate doing. I've never had to write a formal proposal*** for strangers. I can generate ideas about interesting questions to ask, but narrowing/broadening it to be a reasonable amount of time and effort is a problem. And it doesn't help that Potential Future Adviser is in California and Current Adviser was away for half of June.
Also, I have a Thing about appearing stupid in front of strangers I might need to work with. Strangers I never meet again? Fine, who cares about them. My adviser/other Cornell professors and researchers and grad students? Sure, we're pals. That grey area where I think opinions are still forming? Holy crap, panic attack! So, I have this hesitation around PFA that will go away, but not until well past when I have to have(4) this done. And which inhibits me in learning how to do things correctly, because it's Asking Strangers for Help.
Also, there's a deadline, and the stress is giving me insomnia. I've only been up seven hours and am already in the '... I haven't slept' mood. The idea of going back to finish writing the rough draft of my proposal doesn't seem all that appealing, because I'm not sure if I can stay awake though more academic writing.
I may just hit the sack as soon as I can run two loads of laundry (having clean clothing is very important), hope the insomnia is solved by sheer fatigue and use the fact that I can do mornings and my adviser doesn't (and PFA is on the West Coast) to get it to them when they come in on Monday.
--
* NASA wants to grab at the best and brightest, and they can.
** Well, that's not quite true. If you're being funded by Dr. Smith, you need something that Dr. Smith is interested in. But that's probably always going to be true as long as you are not some independently-wealthy and magically-connected individual. Even if University of State-Townsville wants to hire a new astronomy professor, they'll be looking for something more specific than 'smart person with Ph.D. and ability to do research'. Because, well, if you do something lots of other people in the department do, or that no one does and the university doesn't even have the resources to do, then the university is going to wonder why they need to pay you salary.
*** Part of my admission to candidacy was an outline of my intended dissertation topic, but that was given orally. Later I provided my committee with a written outline of my dissertation. I've... actually departed from that a lot.
(4) Weird tangent. Does anyone else say 'have to have' like 'haf tu hav'? That is, with the first 'v' pronounced as a voiceless consonant. I assume it's because it's followed by a /t/, so 'have to have two things' would be the same pronunciation for both 'have's
Look, I slept crappy last night. Coherency is hard.
So, I'm starting to apply for jobs, and first up is the NASA Postdoctoral Program. Which is shooting high*, but even if I don't get things in/get funded in July, I can apply in November with everyone else and their grad students.
Anyway, the thing with postdocs is its another big step for independence. You have to start being able to choose your own projects**. Part of the NASA thing is being able to write a proposal. And also contact the person you would like to work with and say 'let us work out something'.
Now, all of these things aren't things I've done before AND/OR are things I hate doing. I've never had to write a formal proposal*** for strangers. I can generate ideas about interesting questions to ask, but narrowing/broadening it to be a reasonable amount of time and effort is a problem. And it doesn't help that Potential Future Adviser is in California and Current Adviser was away for half of June.
Also, I have a Thing about appearing stupid in front of strangers I might need to work with. Strangers I never meet again? Fine, who cares about them. My adviser/other Cornell professors and researchers and grad students? Sure, we're pals. That grey area where I think opinions are still forming? Holy crap, panic attack! So, I have this hesitation around PFA that will go away, but not until well past when I have to have(4) this done. And which inhibits me in learning how to do things correctly, because it's Asking Strangers for Help.
Also, there's a deadline, and the stress is giving me insomnia. I've only been up seven hours and am already in the '... I haven't slept' mood. The idea of going back to finish writing the rough draft of my proposal doesn't seem all that appealing, because I'm not sure if I can stay awake though more academic writing.
I may just hit the sack as soon as I can run two loads of laundry (having clean clothing is very important), hope the insomnia is solved by sheer fatigue and use the fact that I can do mornings and my adviser doesn't (and PFA is on the West Coast) to get it to them when they come in on Monday.
--
* NASA wants to grab at the best and brightest, and they can.
** Well, that's not quite true. If you're being funded by Dr. Smith, you need something that Dr. Smith is interested in. But that's probably always going to be true as long as you are not some independently-wealthy and magically-connected individual. Even if University of State-Townsville wants to hire a new astronomy professor, they'll be looking for something more specific than 'smart person with Ph.D. and ability to do research'. Because, well, if you do something lots of other people in the department do, or that no one does and the university doesn't even have the resources to do, then the university is going to wonder why they need to pay you salary.
*** Part of my admission to candidacy was an outline of my intended dissertation topic, but that was given orally. Later I provided my committee with a written outline of my dissertation. I've... actually departed from that a lot.
(4) Weird tangent. Does anyone else say 'have to have' like 'haf tu hav'? That is, with the first 'v' pronounced as a voiceless consonant. I assume it's because it's followed by a /t/, so 'have to have two things' would be the same pronunciation for both 'have's
Look, I slept crappy last night. Coherency is hard.
