Character Apologies...

[beccastareyes]

Okay, let's do the character-apology thing. It's a meme, sorta...
Warning: lots of spoilers for my webcomic.


Dear Ishi,
Well, the benefits of being in a tabletop RPG menas I can blame the GM for a lot. I'm sorry I made you from a species who's homeworld was destroyed, and that you were young and separated from your parents in said destruction. I'd apologize for putting you as a child in a situation where people would probably shoot first and ask questions later, but you managed to find a decent person who was willing to take care of you, so that's okay. I'm sorry I gave you such a guilt complex, so when Mint caused a minor appocalyse, it sent you spiriling back to the destruction of your homeworld and when Bridgette was abducted and tortured, you very nearly became the world's first alcoholic silicon-based lifeform. I have a lot to apologize for about the situation with Bridgette... I'm sorry you fell for her right before she got kidnapped, and I'm sorry you lost the fight trying to protect her -- though that was mostly the result of some bad dice rolls and you did better than the rest of the party. I'm sorry I gave your backstory to the GM, thus putting your guardian/surrogate mother in danger, but things worked out fine.
Sincerely,
Your Creator.



Dear Zack,
I'd apologize for the priest jokes, but those are made by the other players. I apologize for bringing you in a situation where you have to reconcile your faith and magic and other faiths, but you need a good kick in the rear. Not much to say -- you're new.
Sincerely,
Your Creator.



Dear Riki,
I'm sorry I made you from a matriarchal species, so most humans see you as effeminate and gay. I'm sorry that the type of magic I gave you makes that worse. I'm sorry you have problems going home because most of your people look down on psionics. I'm sorry that your mother was always busy with her career and your father has problems dealing with you because he sees too much of himself in you, and he doesn't want you to be hurt. I'm sorry you are eventually going to face even more censure from your world for falling for an alien.
I'm sorry I had your sister kidnapped on the outset, especially considering your species is THAT family oriented. And I'm sorry that I gave you a sadistic sociopathic male for a stalker... though I doubt you'd like me better if Philandre was female. And, hey, your friends will rescue you before he gets too far when he does try something. I'm sorry the leader of a major country wants you dead, though, I assure you, it's nothing personal. I'm sorry you will get kidnapped and mentally attacked by Kimiko so that she can get enough of an idea about you to masqueade as you to lure out your friends. I'm sorry the way I invented for you to stop Delwyn will involve you very nearly dying and will involve you being comatose until Phillee can get you home and get your father and Melody to pull you out of it. And I'm sorry that you see this in your first attempt at using precognition... but it was your own fault for interpreting it as your death.
And I'm sorry for the dress.
Sincerely,
Your Creator.



Dear Melody,
I'm sorry I created you as a chimera. In my defense, I did it before I saw Slayers and became a Zel semi-fangirl. And you do handle it better than Zel did. So, I guess I'm not really sorry. I guess I'm sorry that you're sterile because of it -- and I made you fall for a man who wants kids. Oops. Well, at least this way you can adopt, which means you can avoid childbirth.
I'm sorry I take delight in dressing you in skimpy clothing. Acutally, I don't have much to apologize for. Your pigheadedness towards your feelings about Riki is your own damn fault.
Sincerely,
Your Creator.



Dear Alri,
I'm sorry I made you the only one of the heros without any sort of supernatural ability -- and then made you want it like nothing else. I'm sorry I had to destroy your fantasy crush by actually meeting the guy and discovering he's clueless, but at least you can become friends with him after. I'm sorry I nearly kill you in the end, and I'm sorry Kai has to give up his own life to save you. But you DO get magic out of the deal... okay, that was tasteless, I know.
New Order: I'm sorry, in addition to all of that stuff I pull for comic-you, I'm sorry for making you stuck in a world where you know nobody and are the only member of your species. I'm sorry you are from such a family-oriented species, so much that you may resent not being able to have childrne in this world.
Sincerely,
Your Creator.



Dear Phillee,
Most of the apology here involves your backstory. I'm sorry I made your brother blind form birth and I'm sorry you nearly got raped in college, leaving you with a sensory-deprivation phobia 20 years later. And I'm sorry you're an empath so when I screw over my other characters, you feel bad too.
Sincerely,
Your Creator.



Dear Kai,
I'm sorry everyone in your hometown hates you -- even though that's your own fault with your ego. And I'm sorry you die saving Alri's life. Maybe you'll get a statue in your hometown. That would be nice, wouldn't it?
Sincerely,
Your Creator.



Dear Delwyn,
I'm sorry your species doeesn't have magic... and that you want it worse than Alri. I'm also sorry that you're going to lose and that I will probably make the rebels force you to abdicate. You're a decent guy, and a good ruler.
I'm sorry I kill your parents at fifteen and that you are forced to take the throne early. I'm sorry your folks' advisors take this as opportunity to screw over you and the kingdom in the name of enriching their pocketbooks. But, hey, you are a damn good king. Just work on the foreign policy.
Sincerely,
Your Creator.



Dear Kimiko,
I'm sorry you are in love with a man that cannot marry you for political reasons. I'm also sorry I massacred your tribe to get you to Hinoiri. And I'm sorry I made Philandre your coworker, since i know how you hate him. But I ma going to give you a semi-happy ending, so chin up.
Sincerely,
Your Creator.



Dear Philandre,
I apologize for nothing. You are a creepy sadist sociopath and you deserve losing your job and ending up in prison for the stunt you pull with Riki. I'm surprised Phillee didn't do more to you when she got her little webbed hands on you.
Okay, mayeb I apologize for making your parents like your older brother better and your sister being a bitch. But still... you're messed up, dude.
Sincerely,
Your Creator.



Dear Shahsi,
I'm sorry I haven't anything to apologize for. Yet.
Sincerely,
Your Creator.



Dear Elise,
I'm sorry that the first guy you have feelings for dumps you because his family tells him to. But, hey, that had to happen or I would be out three characters, including the hero of the comic.
I'm sorry that the first testing job you take after Saria's birth maroons you out of the universe for 12 years. I'm sorry that Delwyn screwed you over by confiscating your ship after you showed him how to pilot it in exchange for money to get of Hinoiri. I'm sorry the first time you see your daughter after 11 years is as Delwyn's prisoner.
Sincerely,
Your Creator.



Dear Ravi,
I'm sorry you look like a freak because your father had a magical accident. And I'm sorry that gives you issues with your father. Go run off and play with your boyfriend or something.
Sincerely,
Your Creator.



Dear kids,
I'm sorry you are basically the plot device used to keep the heros from going home. And I'm sorry you very nearly get the magic/psionics drained out of you by Delwyn -- that's going to hurt.
Sincerely,
Your Creator.



Dear Allen,
New Order: I'm sorry I pulled you from a point in time before you knew Celena was Dilandau and Folken was a good guy. I'm sorry that you will never see anyone from Gaea besides those two ever again. You wrren't that close to anyone, were you? And you do have your sister... though I'm sorry you are going to have to deal with the fact she is repressing her version of you's death and that won't last long. And you have to deal with the fact she will be getting a girlfriend.
But you did want your sister back, didn't you?
Shadows: I'm sorry I am gong to break your arm in a fight. I'm not sorry that you have to be hit with a clue-by-four to realize your sister isn't a sweet young maiden.
Sincerely,
Your Player



Dear Zel,
New Order: I'm sorry I marooned you in a world with only Amelia and Filia (and Xellos). But the only other people you were really close too was Lina and Gourry, so that's not that bad.
Fanfic: I'm not sorry that none of my fics have feautured a cure for you. Get over it. I am vaguely sorry for making you near-suicidal in To Be Human and causing you to thus try to give up your life to save Amelia, but that fic ended well, so stop complaining.
Sincerely,
Your Player.



Dear Amelia,
I'm sorry I make you deal with a depressed (even for him) Zelgadis and that I nearly kill both of you in
To Be Human, but that fic ended well, so stop complaining.
Sincerely,
Your Writer.


To All Characters: Just be glad I am not yuuo and I like happy endings.

EDIT: A few I forgot...


Dear Peter,
I'm sorry I decided to play you out of a desire to see if I could get any stories for bad_rpers_suck and because I didn't understand your character. I'm sorry, but I still don't see how to reconcile the qualities of a Gryffindor with the behavior JK Rowling makes you show later in canon. I'm sorry that this means I have problems playing you.
Sincerely,
Your Player.



Dear Willow,
I'm sorry I made you the game's only Hufflepuff. Just be lucky I haven't had you pick a fight with Lucius yet. Conjsidering how you handle curses, that will not end well.
Sincerely,
Your Creator.



Dear Ken,
I'm sorry I intended to reform you against your will -- I've changed and decided that if I wanted a good Ken I would go back to playing the post-series one. I'm sorry I took you from a time in which you are least able to deal with people. You're a damn idiot, and most of the trouble you got into was your own damn fault. And, no I am not sorry for having Stareyes step in and punish you with that jusenkyou curse... though I am a bit sorry she didn't step in sooner with the Incident. I'm not really sorry for much because you deserved most of what you got.
I'm sorry I resurrected you for New Order -- and that you have to keep your jusenkyou curse or risk oblivion. I'm sorry that you are the youngest member of the group and will be treated like a kid. I'm sorry that someone who's major talents -- computers, digital monsters and strategy -- are either useless or known by othe rmembers of the group. I'm not sorry that you could make yourself useful to the group by actually trying to develop a bond with Wormmon so he can Digivolve but you don't. There's no rule that says you can't be an evil emperor and have friends.
Sincerely,
Your Player.



Dear Jino,
I haven't done much with you, but I'm sorry about the voice thing... but not as sorry as the other characters wil be. *evil*
Sincerely,
Your Player.